Tomorrows

I am writing this blog post before Doug and I begin our New Years Eve traditions. It is early afternoon, the fireplace is roaring, and the puppies are sleeping in my lap, warm and happy. I am surrounded by beauty, warmth, and love. The urge to write came... so here we are. 

This year has been… wild? The twist, the turns. The highest of mountains and the lowest of valleys. Sometimes it feels like this year has aged me more than I can fathom, but in the most unique ways.

Something I have truly come to terms with this year is that tomorrow comes. Every time. Even when it really feels like there's no possible way. Every tomorrow will be there, with a fresh new beginning, again, and again. It comes. The days will continue. Your dreams will continue. And most importantly, you continue. 

There have been so many moments in my life where it felt like life just paused. I can remember them so vividly and still to this day, even though it has been decades, it still stops me in my tracks. Dead. Stop.

This business, this year, added to those dead stop moments.

There have been some moments this year that have challenged me - my faith, my courage, my confidence, heck - even existence. The challenge of owning a small business is one thing - but owning a small business purely though social media has been an experience I wish I knew more about before running into it blindly. And to be very honest, I learned this year that is one of my flaws. I run into everything. I just run blindly - and I assume nothing will go wrong, everyone/everything has the same intentions I do, and I get SLAMMED into reality. Ever done that? Imagine doing it publicly where 17k people are watching you.

This flaw is also the reason I have 17k people watching. My husband constantly reminds me that it isn't a flaw but a creative business mindset... but I can't help but feel sometimes that I have let people down by not slowing down. I hop on a train and just keep riding it full speed - I truly had zero intent of growing this business the way that it has. ZERO. Of course - everyone wants growth, success, customers, followers, acceptance. But it all comes at a cost that no one really talks about.

Time is such a funny thing. I talk about tomorrows delightfully coming above, yet here I am wishing they paused for a moment so I could feel this for a bit longer. But maybe that's the point? Feelings come and they go. And maybe moving in your own speed is not only what's meant to be - but maybe it's the best thing? Without the pauses, without the running, you lose your own purpose. And well, if you have been here for some time, you know that I may run quick, but I run this business with my heart - and I mean my FULL heart. So, when it looks like I am running wild, it's my passion speaking. My want for something more. We are in this business for no one other than YOU. 

YOU made me my best version this year. YOU made everything worth it. YOU believed in me. You created a business where I am actually my wildly authentic self (even when it’s embarrassing). You strengthened our marriage in ways we didn't know needed strengthened. You helped my confidence soar! You helped me dream… but most of all you helped my faith. My faith in humanity. My faith in His plan. My faith that life does actually have a purpose that you don't need everything planned out to a T to move. My faith that success isn't defined by numbers, but what is truly in your heart. 

YOU kept me going. YOU kept tomorrows.